Happiness > Success

We should throw out the word success when talking about our lives.

Sure the word itself can mean a thousand different things to a thousand different people. This is not the problem that I have with this word. My issue is that it feels fleeting and external.

Okay, what should we replace it with? Ahh, I have just the word. Actually, no. Let us replace it with two words. One that everyone yearns for even if they don’t admit it and another to mellow it out, to hopefully make it last longer.

Happiness.

This is the first word that comes to mind.

Everyone wants it and unlike success true happiness, so I am told by my mother, is obtained internally. Once internal happiness is obtained you can worry less about external happiness.

A side note on this. I started to notice in my late teens and early twenties how perspective could help me grow my internal happiness. The area that I grew up in had many rainy and overcast days. Sometimes I would feel sad due to the weather as I looked at the dark rain clouds that threw rain drops against the windows. I found that I could change my perspective by being thankful for the green grass and trees that needed the rain. Also the ability to turn a rainy day into a cozy day with a hot tea and a movie. Interestingly enough I had to change something internal to grow the internal happiness.

Okay, now back to the word success.

So what is a specific problem that I have with success, you may ask?

Well, when someone completes their goal, it is deemed a success. Right? But, then that success is forgotten about almost instantly. So the cycle starts all over again as they strive for success again and again.

Happiness can be like this. Well, the external happiness can. I am sure you know the one I am referencing here. It’s when you order that item that you just have to have. The checkout button is clicked, you wait a day or two, the package arrives, you open the package, and then the external happiness evaporates as if it is a drop of water flung onto a searing hot pan.

Honestly this just sounds downright exhausting. And it is, I have participated in this endless loop and probably will continue to. I have ordered package after package. No matter how many I receive the drop of water always evaporates.

Okay, so internal happiness can last longer than success, but what if we could take that internal happiness and add to it by giving it a slower burn. That’s where the next word comes in.

Enter the word peace.

When I have experienced times of peace it leaves me feeling content to sit in the moment and bask in my internal happiness. I no longer strive for success or external happiness to the same degree.

The best way I can explain this is by explaining the opposite of peace. For me this is anxiety. With anxiety my mind feels like it is running through a zillion possibilities and then sometimes it just focuses on one. With peace, nothing matters and everything does. What I mean by this is that I can accept things for what they are.

Happiness and peace, these are the two states that I look forward to obtaining. Is it a challenge? Yes, yes it is. But it’s one that will last longer than success for me.

-Abe